dear anti-drug

it's time for some tuff love but, love none the less.

ask yourself: how am i still nancys friend? why has she kept me as a friend? pity? no, i have MADLOVE for you. i have MADLOVE for your family. i DON'T have MADLOVE for what your doing to them. i DON'T have MADLOVE for what your letting others MAKE you do, i want to believe that what your doing is NOT coming from you, i want to be naive to this, i want to believe that you are being pressured, i want to think that you have a GUN pointed to your head and lost your "free will", i DON'T want to believe that you choose to do this[that], i DON'T want to believe you self-righteously choose that[this] path because you are better than that.

i can't help but think[feel] that your "falling out" was mostly, COMPLETELY, my fault. im sorry i vanished, im sorry i had some things to take care of, im sorry i was selfish, im sorry i vanished, im sorry i thought you were stronger, im sorry i wasn't there, i apoligize for not being GREAT, i apoligize for backing down, i apoligize for hiding you from the real world, im sorry i vanished and left you alone. i didn't think you'd fall apart this much, i didn't think you'd fall apart at all. i thought you were ready to stand alone, i thought you were ready to take a stand on your own, i thought you were ready to respect yourself.


i was NEVER wrong, until you came along...
"come back to me the way you were, the way you were when we were young"



it pains me to see that you have been manipulated into something that all those that care about and love you KNOW that you are FARR from, it pains me to say that i wish i didn't know who you were, that way it'd be easy to accept you now because who you were, would be ashamed of "who you are now"// it pains me to think that i had a large part to do with this, it pains me to notice that your treating yourself LESS than what your worth.


knowing the truth, is half the struggle// are you "growing up" or "growing stupid"?