my DEAR-E$T cocaine,

it had been WELL past a YEAR since you have INFECTED my inner workings and like i've said, "im not fit for you"// yet somehow YOU weasel your EVIL, un-KIND, hurtful ways back into my life and im sitting here [again], wanting nothing more than to be CUT-LOOSE of this noose you wrapped tightly around my neck [again]// it was all sooo sweet, less than a week, NEW-RECORD CALL GUINNESS!!// thanks for letting me go on sooo long [with the hint of sarcasm]// and i love. i love. i love. I LOVE// and you hurt. you burn. you rip. YOU YELL!//

my DEAR-E$T cocaine,
why must you punish me for being a YEAR stearing CLEAR of you?// i've done PURE GOOD without you, i've hurt not me nor-anyone without you// i was happy on my own HIGH without you// then you pointed it out, thinking that i HATED being without you// speaking to me quietly while i sat and TRIED to paint sweetsweet things, saying "you know the silence kills you"//

my DEAR-E$T cocaine,
you did it this time// you broke more than one at the same time// three or more and the third one is less aware// they have been INFECTED by you, it'll take them days to realize what it is they got// come back and ask, "whats this white stuff?"// it's not my fault! you did this, you did this, YOUDIDTHIS, YOU DID THIS!// you REALLY did it this time// when will the charm come back? when will i get this simplicity you said i'd have? when will you stop this vicious attack? when?// another year?// why must you choose the beginning of everyone for me// well at least i know you HIT IT fast; we can pretend that no one happened, no one sniffed it//

my DEAR-E$T cocaine,
YOU ARE THE WORSE DRUG.
and i have seen many FALL to their knees for you// flip turn around worship and can't get enough of you// you and i battle for this attention more often than you'd like to think but, you offer "eternal happiness" and i offer "a sense of self-awareness"// and even the strong must fall but, i can't stand to think that you've taken another one from me// YOU TARNISH MY BEING!// i want nothing more than for you VANISHMENT!// every shooting star i see on everynight i get galatic, im going to ride it, out to the end with my wish on repeat, "VANISH THE HUMAN RACE OF COCAINE"// and theres not a DAMN thing you can do to stop me//


my DEAR-E$T cocaine,
i love and you don't// i breath and you stop// i want and you take// i leave and you stay// I LOVE AND YOU DON'T// i walk and you pace// i stand and you trip// i talk and you spit// I LOVE AND YOU DON'T// i think and you move// i push and you pull// i remove and you glue// I LOVE AND YOU DON'T// im air and your sand// i let go and you try to hold my hand// im space that you can't embrace// I LOVE AND YOU DON'T// i rhyme and you make no sense// im clean and your slime// i'm done with you, for REAL this time.

my DEAR-E$T cocaine,

FCUK YOU.


[i'm not sure about this part]
my DEAR-E$T cocaine,
i refur to you as cocaine, and others refur to you as love.

sincerely// nancy.